


Tumblr fic request compilation

by L_is_tired



Category: Romantically Apocalyptic
Genre: Canon-ish, Crime AU, Nightmares, Other, Save the world au, dad!engie, engie speaks russian for five seconds, parental relationship, these tags are for all the fics here so thats why they may contradict, tumblr asks, tumblr requests, violent nightmares, writing prompts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:28:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25000117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/L_is_tired/pseuds/L_is_tired
Summary: A grouping of requests sent to my romac blog, captain-zee-captain. They send in asks from a game posted by tiredthinkbucketFic 1's prompt: Captain & Snippy for 4. Cooking togther, r. Mutual pining, and 2. "Do you need help?".Fic 2: Pilot/Christopheros for crime au, misunderstanding, “You’re like, five feet tall. How you gonna reach me?”Fic 3: Dad!Engie and Captain, 5. Cuddling, s. Nightmares, and 1. “Do you want me to leave?”
Relationships: Zee Captain/Charles Snippy | Sniper
Kudos: 4





	1. Kiss the cook

“OH MEIN GOTT LOOK AT YOU, YOU HAVE DEER PAJAMAS!!” Captain shouted at Snippy, bounding up and squishing Snippy’s face.

“Captain… It’s too early for this” He groaned, words slightly altered by zeer hands pushing his cheeks towards his lips. Snippy was struggling to stay awake, trying to crack an egg on the pan for his breakfast.

“Oh, are you making breakfast? Can I help? What are we making?” Captain’s goggles glinted in excitement, intending on impressing him with zeer skill.

“You don’t eat…” He grumbled “How would you know how to cook?”

“I have a dad who doesn’t know how to take care of himself without a computer wife? You know him? My terribly depressed father? Sleeping on the couch because he forgot to go to bed again?” Captain giggled, pinching Snippy’s nose.

Snippy thought for a moment. I mean… It would be nice to be cooked for… And it’s Captain, who he not only has a large admiration for and potential crush, but who also seemed to be suspiciously clever and lucky no matter what zee does. “... All right, fine. I’m making eggs and sausage.” He squeaked in surprise as Captain set Snippy on the counter.

“Now behold, Mr. Snippy! Behold as I show you my mastery of the culinary arts!” Captain pulled a silly kiss the cook apron from zeer coat, putting it on and slapping a little butter in the pan Snippy forgot to grease “How do you like your eggs?”

“Uh… S… Sunny side up. N-no, eggs benedict. No, wait, scrambled.” Snippy stammered, trying not to be distracted by what the apron said and how much he wanted to.

“I could make all of them! Egg feast!” Captain waved zeer spatula around, the bedazzled handle catching the sunlight pouring in from the window.

“Oh dear G- please no” He protested.

“Well, then pick your favorite!!”

Snippy hesitated “... Eggs benedict. I… I don’t remember why but I know I used to really love it.”

Captain was already set to work, putting sausages in the pan and preparing to poach the eggs, singing some really old song about caramels dancing (???) in a language Snippy didn’t really understand.

When zee had a free moment, Captain took Snippy’s hands in zeers, dancing together a bit, which made Snippy quite the flustered mess. Captain placed a plate in his hands gently and gave him a sip of coffee from a(n uncontaminated by zeer) mug and straw. Zee gently dished the beautiful breakfast that could have been from an expensive restaurant if snippy wasn’t watching Captain make it.

“Do you like it??” Captain asked, bouncing on zeer toes.

“I haven’t tried it yet” Snippy laughed quietly as zee put a fork in his mouth with a bit of everything on it, his heart racing as zeer  _ feeding _ him in such an intimate manner. “A-ah- Okay, okay, it’s great. Thank you, Captain. I appreciate it.”

“I appreciate you also!!” Captain beamed, starting to clean up as he remained on the counter to eat and replay these events in his head.


	2. A little mistake.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sometimes I am just a little mean to Snippy

Christopheros PI Hatchenson hung up with the insurance director, putting the old and scuffed up receiver back where it stayed and thinking quietly. “So… We have a guy who stopped ANNET for five minutes, needs to be contained for a while.” He pondered aloud to Kittyhawk, pulling his lollipop out of his mouth like a cigarette. “Bad, glitchy security footage, jumbled letters, and flickering pronouns. It’s all corrupted… Who on earth could do that to their own info?”

“An Unconnectable?” The small puffin suggested

“Even Unconnectables have old files on them, they were all users once. To have no info after a certain date when it’s clearly an adult, well… You’d either be a damn good hacker, or something a higher up was trying to hide…” He got up, slipping his trenchcoat on as he saw in old films, and leaving for the carlot for his Hoverbike.

He parked in front of Cube 15 and took off his helmet, fluffing out his fine blond hair and slipping his neural interface shades back on before going to investigate.

He observed the people who worked here, scanning them all without issue, but pausing… An Unconnectable. An  _ Unscannable _ . He smirked at the fool, currently napping at his desk. ANNET told him to get the Unscannable, and that was all he needed, even if ANNET wasn’t divulging the true perpetrator.

“Well well well… If it isn’t our rebellious guest of honor… Wake up.” He snapped his finger in front of Snippy’s face, making him jolt awake

“Bwah?” He blinked at the bright office lights, rubbing his eyes “Hello? Who’re you?”

“The guy who’s about to ruin your fiendish little day.” He spun his electro-cuffs in a taunting manner. 

“Huh- H-hey! Get off me! I didn’t do anythin’!” Charles protested as Pi cuffed him carefully.

“Still my best lead. ANNET doesn’t like fools like you giving her an involuntary nap.” Pi gently flicked Charles’s nose.

“When I get out of these cuffs I’m gonna choke you!” Snippy growled, trying fruitlessly to break free.

“Good luck, you’re like, five feet tall.” Pi yawned, slinging the Unscannable onto his shoulder, jumping back as someone crashed through the wall.

“I’M 158 CENTIMETERS, AND I HAVE  _ ARMS! _ ”

“PILOT, UNHAND MY SNIPPY!” The loud interruption demanded.

“Oh, G-damn it…” Snippy groaned.

“... No? Get outta my way.” Pi huffed, trying to scan this person in the silly gasmask… It’s… All corrupted. All he had was a flickering picture, the letters “C A I” and… Pronouns. That’s the perpetrator! So why did ANNET say it was this ‘Snippy’ fellow?

“HE IS BEING UNFAIRLY CHARGED, YOUR HONOR!” Zee continued “PLEASE GIVE HIM TO ME!”

“I don’t even know who you are!” Pi protested “ANNET wants this one!”

“I’M THE SYSTEM WIZARD!” The figure Pi had nicknamed C in his head announced proudly “AND SO, I WOULD LIKE HIM TO BE LET GO THANK A YOUUUUU!”

“Your card is all messed up, ‘System Wizard’.” The DEX smirked.

“HUH? OH, I FORGOT TO FIX THAT.” C quickly brought up zeer console, fixing things and posing for a cute picture. Pi refreshed his view, seeing now the same photo, the name Captain, and the title System Wizard.

“Okay. Okay, fine, Captain. There’s still someone running around and shutting down ANNET. As I said, ANNET wants this guy, so she must have a reason.”

“OH, THAT’S GOING TO BE VERY FUNNY LATER! YOU’RE LOOKING FOR ME! IT WAS AN ACCIDENT, THOUGH! TESTING ISSUE! SOME SILLY USER IN CUBE 15 FILED THE REPORT! IF YOU’LL REVIEW THE FOOTAGE, YOU’LL FIND THAT THIS MAN IS MUCH TOO SHORT TO BE MISTAKEN FOR ME! WELL, UNTIL LATER, IF THINGS GO PEAR-LY. OH! OH, AHA! THAT’S FUNNY TOO!” Captain laughed, bewildering the other two.Zee took Snippy from Pi, holding him bridal-style and smacking the cuffs off “DON’T WORRY, I’LL BE REPRIMANDED LATER, SURELY.”

“... Okay, I guess. Uh... Have a nice day? Sorry?” Pi picked up his cuffs, confused. A small part of him quite liked the strange Captain, though he didn’t understand why.


	3. Good night, my Star.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm a sucker for dads trying their best :')

_ Cold metal wrapped his body, his dear lover, his goddess in the machine slowly suffocating him. He fought and struggled as choruses of voices condemned him, demanding his death, his payback for their husk-like state. A sea of blue tiaras glowed, and at the front of the crowd… Snippy, getting choked by his own scarf. Pilot reduced to purple blood and scrap metal. And Captain… Nothing more than a shattered mask and smoldering hat. He could smell smoke, choking and coughing and sputtering as cold sweat trickled down his forehead.  _

_ “DAD!! DAD, WAKE UP!” A voice that sounded familiar called. _

__ “DAD! DAD, YOU BOOB YOUR NIGHTMARE SMELLS FUNNY!” Captain shook Engie awake, making him jolt. 

“КТО ЭТО?” Engie asked, panting as he struggled to register what happened “Captain... Sorry. What, w-what did you say?”

“YOUR NIGHTMARES SMELL LIKE OIL AND FIRE.” Captain frowned

“... Did you call me dad?” Engie, much to Captain’s chagrin, was missing the point.

“DID YOU NEVER REALIZE?” Captain could almost laugh if zee wasn’t worried.

“Realized what? This- This makes no sense.” He held his head, finding how the mask modulated his voice to be particularly grating tonight.

Captain sighed “... ANNET MADE ME FOR YOU. DO YOU NOT REMEMBER THE CARD I HAD MADE YOU FOR FATHER’S DAY? THE ONE YOU IGNORED?”

“That never- No! No, you’ve got it wrong. Annie never created, just searched. You never made me a card.” He shook his head.

“DAD, I LOVE YOU, BUT YOU ARE THE  _ DENSEST _ MARMALADE I’VE EVER SEEN.” Captain produced several pieces of paper, yellowed by time from zeer coat, spreading them onto the tattered mattress as well as Engie’s lap. There were records. Records of what was produced to help create Captain, the code that dictated Captain’s very being, all except zeer personality. The schematics and scans, everything Engie had trusted ANNET with, here. 

Captain was made from a dying star, could see the future, grant wishes. It was beyond believability. It had to be forged. But… Then Engie’s heart catches. There’s a little card with a chibi drawing of Captain and himself at a tea party, the letters above it saying ‘HAPPY FATHER’S DAY.’

“... I’ll admit, you’re dedicated to your jokes.” Engie bounced his leg.

“I… I’M NOT…” Captain struggled, zeer heart aching “... Fine. You don’t have to believe me.” Captain said, chillingly quiet. “I’ll… Send in Pilot to comfort you.” Zee gathered zeer papers and put them away.

That reaction caught Engie off guard, normally Captain lived on praise, loved it. But… To be quiet? The last time Captain was quiet was before they began testing, before there was… An edit… “W-wait- I’m sorry, can I please look at the edit records again?” Captain hesitated, before reluctantly handing them over. ANNET had edited zeer to talk this way, to act so strangely. A distrust protocol, where it physically pained zeer to act how zee used to. And then later, a protocol to  _ block Engie from seeing zeer at all. _ ANNET had been fooling him even more than he ever suspected.

“DO YOU WANT ME TO LEAVE, THEN?” Captain asked, almost… Scared of rejection.

“No, no. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. She prevented me from seeing you after a certain period. I’m… I’m really sorry I missed your card.” He rubbed his face, hugging Captain close. “... You know. I… I always wanted to be a father.” He laughed softly.

Captain held onto Engie, curling up. “REALLY?”

Engie nodded, getting back into bed “... If you’re made of a dying star, wouldn’t you be radioactive?”

“OH, NETTIE TOOK CARE OF THAT!! JUST… DON’T TOUCH UNDER MY SCARF, DON’T DRINK FROM MY MUG OR USE MY STRAW, AND YOU’LL BE FINE.” Zee snuggled into his jacket fluff. 

“Makes sense. I, uh… I hope I’ll be an okay father. I’m sorry for doubting you.”

“SHSHSH- GO TO SLEEP! I MAKE AN EXCELLENT DREAM CATCHER!” Captain gently bumped zeer mask on his forehead. Engie laughed, patting the top of zeer hat.

“Good night my… Сынок? Дочь?” Engie seemed confused. 

“STAR!” Captain beamed.

“... Good night, my star.” And with that Engie drifted off to sleep, Captain making good on zeer dreamcatcher promise.


End file.
